Self Tagging ( Syok Seniri )

Well, seriously, I have been having this feeling of not revealing too much about myself. So, being secretive is the key of this mission. Until finishing high school, I only shared my personal life and stories to very few people. Most of the time, I kept them to myself. However, things seemed to change when I entered the university, I found out that being secretive is a way to be isolated from the population, yes I was islolated. I struggled to survive during the foundation year in the university, I didn’t share stories so I didn’t have friends, except my rummies. Oh God, they are lovely, only if you knew them. They were my souls in the campus that time. Everything I did with them, or for them.

Okay2..I’m not going to brag about those beloved ex-rummies but I would like to reveal some things about myself. I have already used to do this since the first year degree. I reveal things much these days, too much sometimes that I would regret of the expansion revelation.

Yet, I would like to expand the revelation, but on my dusty non visited blog only lah. This is my first time of answering a set of question about myself publicly, previously it was only for the purpose of taking personality inventory or any other assessment tests.

I found this tag-question thingy on one blog I walked around and I don’t intend to credit the blogger even, because I know he would not even care to know. Btw, I would like to answer these questions because I would like to know myself better, too.

a) 5 names that friends call.

1. athirah

2. tirah

3. tira

4. tiara

5. atira

b) 5 most important dates in your life

1. 13^th September 1990 (my birthday)

2. 27^th January 2007 (I met someone I love for the first time)

3. 22^nd February 2006 (I owned my own hp)

4. 1^st January (mom’s birthday and new year lorr)

5. 19^th April (dad’s birthday)

c)5 things you have done yesterday

1. laundry

2. lunch at Pak Li

3. decorated an orange sponge cake with buttercream

4. bought toiletries at Guardian and Mydin (shite, Mydin murah gilerr)

5. Lipat kain

d) 5 ways to be happy.

1. exercise

2. eating good food

3. petting cats

4. shopping

5. hang out with close friends

e) 5 gifts you would like to receive. sempena birthday ke? Hikhik

1. doraemon pillow

2. a car, Suzuki Swift would be nice

3. an expensive and convenient new hand phone, Nokia E7 ker

4. a stationary bike

5. money, just give me money and I will be so pleased

f) 5 favourite hobbies.

1. baking

2. lepaking with friends

3. movies at cinema

4. petting cats and rabbits

5. window shopping

g) 5 places you want to go for vacation.

1. Vietnam

2. Vienna

3. London

4. Perhentian Island

5. New Zealand

h) 5 favourite drinks.

1. Pak Li cold Ipoh white coffee with milk

2. Milk (soy, goat, chocs and etc)

3. teh o ais

4. iced milo

5. mineral water

i) 5 things you always found in your room.

1. towel

2. tooth brush (yes, I keep it in my bedroom)

3. supplement

4. bags

5. all my stuff lorrrrrrrrrr (I don’t keep things outside of my room)

j) 5 favourite clothes colours.

1. grey

2. black

3. green

4. yellow

5. red

k) 5 favourite bands. (used to favour)

1. westlife

2. backstreet boys

3. the corrs

4. c21

5. n’sync

6. p/s dolu2 punya minat, now tak minat sapa2

l) 5 favourite people.

1. Brad Pitt

2. Justin Long

3. Fasha Sandha (now laugh at me)

4. Tun Mahathir

5. Brad Pitt

m)5 hangouts.

1. Pak Li

2. Tasek Sec 7

3. PKNS SACC

4. Sunway Pyramid

5. home

n)5 person you love so much.

1. My family

2. Reliable friends

3. Tun Mahathir

4. Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h

5. My self

o)5 reasons you answer this survey.

1. It’s holiday

2. It’s boring

3. To update blog

4. To look busy

5. To know myself better

weird dreams

I woke up at around 1p.m. today, not that I had very long sleep as I actually slept after subuh, around 6.30a.m. I had a weird feeling once I was awake from the sleep. It’s because of the dreams. As usual, I had lots of different story in dreams.

Two of them are too weird to be true, because I never had such dreams kot. First, I dreamt of getting engaged. Dramatically, I was late for the ceremony which was held at my fiancé’s(?) because I had to rush from work to my house to get change for the engagement outfit then to his house. Ironically, not only the ceremony was held at his place, I was actually working on my engagement day? lol. Btw, my future fiancé also was actually working on that day, we had the ceremony after both of us got back from work. The weirdest moment could happen if it happened in the real life was, right after we were engaged, my mom(?!!) suggested that we continue the ceremony with akad nikah tros, the best way to save the time katanya, as we both are very busy with work lol.

Alright, it’s dreams. That is the best thing about dreams, you won’t have the chance to experience what you had in dreams for real. Because dreams are way too unrealistic to become reality. Btw, there is something I like about the engagement, my dress was actually gorgeous! I looked so pretty in it lol. It was a silver short kebaya, like most brides are wearing nowadays, the fabric was of high quality ones, the details were great, and it was a set with tudung siti with the inner, just like what I imagined myself to wear on my wedding day! I got to see my future wedding dress in my dream, it was fun though! LOL the funnier thing was, I actually had another set of dress for my wedding, about the same design and material but of different colour, it’s a purplish pinkish maroon of sort, light tone of course. So pretty lol. I remembered the dresses well, I could even imagine them right now but I totally forgot the face of my fiancé. Macam hensem jugak kot lol.

Alright, the second dream was not fun. It’s a thriller lol. Few weeks before, this one lecturer offered the whole classmates to join a humanity program in one of the countries in the Southeast of Asia. Two other friends and I gave our names to the lecturer, displaying the commitment we would like to serve for one month and a half in a yet-to-discover country. Until today, the lecturer did not confirm on anything, be it our status of going there and the country we are going to. Nonetheless, I expected it to be Cambodia as the university held the same program last year in Cambodia. However, there is one other friend of us who is not following because she will be involving in a students’ exchange program in USA(!!) is trying to tease me by building her suggestion that the country will be Timor Leste. No offense here, but TL(as we call it) is a new, small and very near to Malaysia. If being given the choice, we prefer to go to other countries lol. I am hoping it to be Vietnam. It has been my dream since young to go to Vietnam. I want to evident the rich culture of Vietnamese by my own naked eyes. Alright, I actually am imagining the Mekong River Floating Market and the huge bazaar in the centre of Vietnam. those are part of their culture, right? =D

Now, let’s put aside whatever country will it be, I already dreamt of going to Thailand last night. The place is at the southern Thai but the people speak Indonesian lol. Even I spoke Indonesian in the dreamland. As globally known, southern Thailand has been experiencing somewhat of civil war between the Muslim and the non-Muslim if I am not mistaken and it has been awhile under chaos which scares foreigners to pass their border. In the dream, we expected the war has ended so we went there.

Nevertheless, it hasn’t ended yet. We lived in a kampong, long house type of house which in the evening, the army was set ready to fight the terrorists. I didn’t know it was a dream and hell yeah, I was so scared. I remembered a dialogue between me and the lecturer

Me: sir, it is so scary here

Lecturer: if you feel like going back, ask your parents to wait at the hospital and I will send you there

LOL. I assumed the hospital was near to the Malaysian-Thai border and we were not that far from the border. I didn’t dare to go back because it would feel like a coward. I didn’t want to be the first and only volunteer to return home. It would cost a shame.

In the dream, I didn’t see my two other friends. There were inside the house but were doing something else while I was with few villagers. It was in the evening when the villagers and I lepaking at a gazebo which the gazebo is beside a field which the field the army was doing their training. My heart was thumping so fast just to look at the army wearing their military outfit and holding guns. I asked the villagers how could they differentiate the good and bad army? They said the bad army doesn’t indicate their country through their outfit, no flag and stuff lar.

Not soon after that, there was a group of army wearing blue uniform, there was only one male and the rest were female. They asked for villagers’ identity card. They asked me too but they villagers said I am a visitor and I left my visitor’s pass inside the house. I was scared to death during the moment. For God’s sake, I thought it was real! I mean, I didn’t know I was dreaming. As I was making my move to the house to take my visitor’s pass, the male soldier grabbed my hand so hard and he was grinning like evil. I felt like I was going to be raped and killed. I could feel his hand grabbing so hard that I had to loose my hand out of his grabbing slowly. Huh I was so nervous that my heart could burst at any time!

Luckily, before it burst, I woke up from the dream. I couldn’t actually remember how I got awake, either by hearing the alarm clock, or my dad’s call, or my sis’s call, or someone's call or a coming sms. That’s basically how I got awake every day, several times.

Study Week

I just woke up from a long sleep. Yeah long 15 hours of sleep. Even that long I felt like continuing the beautiful moment but I didn’t. because I always have in mind that oversleep can lead to brain damage. Is it true? Any doctors in the house? Well, not even a nurse in my house.

Therefore, at 12 in the noon, I forced myself to get my ass off of the bed. I’m a dreaming person. I dream most of the time, be it during sleep or awake. Of course, I can control what I dream during awake but during sleep? It is beyond the control of myself. Just like this morning, I dreamt of absham(that’s how I pronounce his name), my sis’s bf. I was dreaming of him coming to our house and did some, or a lot of cooking. My dad and I loved to eat his cooking but mom? She condemned the food and asked us to eat them. Hmm..God bless him so that it won’t happen in the reality. But dreaming is lying, how could absham look like Kumar??? You know, Kumar from the Harold and Kumar, The Escape from Guantanamo Bay.

Alright, I seriously do not know what to do here in this moment. It is study week and we just submitted the very last assignment of the semester yesterday. The only business left before the final exam is Career Counseling second test which was postponed several times. But I think it is gonna ‘happen’ on the next Monday. For God’s sake, Wednesday is already the final paper! But I don’t plan or intend to read anything for the test as it is an open book test.

The weather is burning hot out there. I don’t feel like going out. What more without a company, friends went back to their homes, some friends are busy with..whatever their business are, housemates are still sleeping. Yeah yeah I know, it is supposed to be a Sleep Week instead of Study Week.

But I feel like having some heavy and expensive meal, like, something from Secret Recipe or Manhattan Fish Market or Carls Jr or Popeye’s or Pak Li also will just do it right now. Huh.. no way I would go to those restaurants alone, except for gerai makcik depan. Oh yeah, it is not even a restaurant pon. I can’t imagine myself without friends or company, will I never eat outside without them? I know people don’t know this, because they thought I am independent enough to eat outside alone. But no, deep inside, I will always tapau if I had to eat alone. I mean, i won't go out alone just for the purpose of eating. Of course, if i went shopping alone or sending my lappy for repair or going out with other purpose than eating, i can eat alone LOL. Well, lucky I had some stuff in the fridge, enough for a plate of carbonara pasta~ a simple one lah tapi.

Sick

Health is wealth.

As a healthy human being, we may not realize the truth of the above statement. But the meaning will come to the realization once we fell sick. Like I was, last week.

It was an important week, content with test of the subject I’m afraid most! and microteaching (a fear of everyone!) and a deadline for some assignments and it was the week I fell sick, real sick. Out of blue, I felt sooooooo tired that I told my housemate, “I feel exhausted like just came back from a mountain climbing”. On the Monday night, I treated myself two hits of panadol and was wearing socks during sleep and the fan was purposely let working toward the direction of the wall.

When the morning arrived, I felt even more tired that the whole parts of my body aching, my chest so stuffed that I wanted to vomit. My stomach fell bloated than I couldn’t wear jeans comfortably (though I wasn’t intending to wear jeans that day). Despite all the discomfort felt, I forced myself to wake up early and go to the class. I did not expect the nausea to turn worse during showering. Luckily the toilet bowl was near that it made me easy to vomit. I vomited only some disgusting yellowish fluid, it all I had in my stomach since the night.

After having bath, I decided not to go to class. It was a tough decision since lots of things to be delayed. I am the master of procrastination but making sure things done before the deadline is my policy. Before continuing sleeping, I had a glass of goat’s milk and another hits of panadol. The bloating stomach and stuffy chest did not show any reduction but I forced myself to sleep for few hours. I was actually dreaming about the test and classes I missed. Oh how a good student I am~

Soon after waking up in the afternoon, I texted one lecturer, apologizing for not attending her class and sit for the test she will be conducting. She said ok and will let me sit for the test on Friday but only for an hour, during class lesson. but she somehow didn’t forget to ask me for an MC or a letter. Huh!

It was not a good feeling to take the test while other classmates doing presentation within a shorter duration given, it was supposed to be one and a half hour test. But I survived it, but certainly I could do better under supposed regulations.

On the Tuesday night, I was a little hungry so I made a mug of hot chocolate to be dipped by biscuits. Not soon after eating and had medicine, I went to sleep. It was 9p.m. or so but I couldn’t actually close my eyes because of the discomfort bothering me again. I felt very bloated and nausea and succeeded to make some good portion of vomit. I was actually running to the toilet to throw out into the toilet bowl. However, some of the discharge was splattered to my pants that I had to change it. Only then I managed to think scientifically that I was experiencing gastritis. I didn’t have it in thoughts earlier as it feels like ages since I last got gastric. I had it a lot during schooling years but due to the changes on my eating appetite this few years, I couldn’t have much chance on gaining it. Now, I have to admit it comes again, just to act as a discourager for my slimming plan. Now I want to eat but I don’t really have appetite for anything. Could you believe, I could go to the bakery but buy nothing?! I went to a restaurant and left it full with desert and drinks only?

It cost me two days and 10 hits of panadol, the only reliable medicine I have in my super mini first aid kit, to get fully recovered. I was praying hard to get healthy back as usual, you know, I was sick. Body was aching all over and the discomfort..really, it made me reminisce the suffer cancerous patients experience and how strong they have to be in order to fight the fatal illness. Not only cancerous, any kinds of illness shall require a good deal of endurance.

So people, let’s be thankful to the health gift He granted us and let’s put some effort to maintain it. Just as what I had just taught during the microteaching this morning, let’s practice an ideal health routine in order to stay healthy. Eat well, sleep well, exercise well.