It has been some time I feel like I am reaching the death moment. I mean, my death moment.
I feel afraid of boarding a car, or a bus, or any kinds of transportation, afraid that I will be involving in accidents. I pray hard every time I’m getting into a car so that the journey will be safe.
I become too afraid of strangers. Imagine I went to a hypermarket, I asked a shopper the price of pants, and I found out that it is a bit too pricey than the price I bought it for, previously (in other place, of course). As usual of my character, I asked him why is he selling at that price while I bought it for (I told him the price I bought it for). He snapped. and I regret doing it. I also am afraid of him going to do something bad to me after this as he looked very fierce. Now, I am afraid of going to the hypermarket again. I know I am paranoid, but just lately.
Now is the convocation season. Every time I look at those graduating, I mean their pictures, I have the feeling that I may not have enough time to experience the moment of my own.
When I look at kids and babies, I am afraid I won’t have the opportunity to breed mine.
When I look at the assignments, I will be thinking, what will all these serve for if I died before graduating?
Should I still be doing the assignments now? Heehee. No I meant it.
It’s the new semester already.
Four months of break added some history of life. Some parts are sweet, some are sour, and some are helplessly bitter.
I found a new crush, like a real crush. It was a strong feeling for him in the initial but the feeling had faded away after discovering things about him. The discovery acknowledged me that he is too good to be true as a living man, leaving me feeling superbly inferior to him. Now, everything is back to normal, to my normal condition, no lovey dovey feelings for anyone.
During the break, I formatted the lappy since its performance was getting real slow like an esiotrot. Alright, it’s tortoise. I just love to call tortoise esiotrot. I think tortoise serves to have a cooler name, though it doesn’t have a cool appearance. Btw back to the formatting story, I was just very unlucky to have trusted a new computer shop near the house. He didn’t backup my files that I lost everything I had. Pics, assignments, songs…. I googled around to find the best data recovery centre but I settled for a part timer data recoverer to recover the lost data in the lappy, for its cost effectiveness, of course. After a day, he said he couldn’t recover the files since they were override( ?? I know it’s grammatically incorrect but that’s what I think he said). Then I gave him my crashed external hdd, thank you God, though it’s not everything he managed to recover but I got 90% of the lost pics back. Oh btw, he charged me rm60 ONLY. I think he is just pity on me (he knows I am a student, muka xda duet plak tu lol)…after all, it’s a huge lesson I learnt. Make sure you have the backup for important files, no matter what you are going to do with the lappy!
My sister and I had a huge misunderstanding with the parents. We were slapped by Dad. Yes, Dad slapped us on the face, two times.
It’s all a history now. You have the brain to decide which is sweet, sour and bitter. I am too lazy to tell the rest of tasteless events.
Well, with the fact that I am already 21, and he is older, he sure has grown up. But the growing up context I am trying to bring up here is, he has changed into someone-I-am-surprised-and-hurt-to-see-the-changes.
Previously, I heard about some male cousins who were persistent to get married early from the aunts. Getting married early means when the male cousins had just finished studies or had just been working resulting to not financially and emotionally stable to become someone's husband. Now, it’s my brother’s turn insisting on getting him married. Yeah, he has been insisting my parents to let him married since last year. Mom said it’s ok if he wanted to get married early, like, the early next year, but parents will do the feast at the end of the next year, he rejected the idea (?).
He no longer follows us going for holiday or family trip. Last year, we went to Penang and he refused to go with the excuse which he cannot tolerate the business and crowd of Penang town. I wonder how he survived living in Klang Valley for two years and how does he cope the business of KL every 2 weeks or so (going there to meet his slutty gf)
He finds ways to go to different masjid for terawih (what’s wrong with going to the same mosque with us?)
He is not going to kenduris with us anymore. (I can accept this when the events relate non family members)
He struggles to pretend to be sick in the morning of Eidulfitri so that he could go for different direction from us. (I know he wanted to spend the time with his gf and go to their friends’ houses)
He does not even bother to get into family portrait whenever we experience some special events. (read: Dad received a medal from the King, Eidulfitri)
He does not care about parents’ health condition. When sis told him about Dad’s liver condition, he showed indifferent expression.
When Mom cooked or brought food for him, he never bothered to even look at them.
When he said he is financially stable to get married, Dad is still paying his car loan monthly.
He rarely speaks a word at home nowadays, especially with Mom and Dad. He still speaks to me, maybe because I am the youngest sibling in the family but still, it hurts me seeing he hurts the parents. They never expressed that, but I know they are deeply hurt by his non humane act. Oh btw, he will be speaking plus smiling showing all the teeth he has while speaking on the phone with his gf every time i notice they are on the line.
Oh my GROWN UP brother. Bravo.
I am no fanatic about politics, neither I an ignorant towards what is happening surround.
I am just a normal plain citizen who cares and very much concerned about what is to happen to the future of my country.
I am always aware of the fact that this nation has been undergoing its chaotic moment for the past few years and the situation has really brought my heart to a significant rapid beating.
No one actually noticed I was actually keeping abreast with the political issues, inside and outside of the country.
I found out that there is impossible to have a political party that is truly ‘clean’, as long as you live in the Earth. Perhaps there are some in the Jupiter and Neptune, perhaps.
The present not very ‘clean’ political party has been ruling the nation for past few decades. Apparently, I am sane enough to sense the ‘uncleanliness’ of theirs but hey, they are politicians.
They are not very ‘clean’ but still, they do their jobs, they provide safety all over the nation, they offer money to the poor, they grant their servants bonuses and privileges, they offer scholarships to students yet they are very lenient on those-forgetful-spoilt-citizen-working-for-other-countries, they rush the aids during accidents and natural disasters, they developed the nation into a remarkable one, they..……you know you can think of the rest.
And today, some gullible citizens are seeking for ‘cleanliness’,or they wanted to become the ‘clean’ ruler? With all the gut I have, the latter is bullshit. A clean political party is unrealistic and absurd, unless u have hidden agendas?
Well well well, fine, the current governor which you have so much hatred for shall not serve as the most ideal governor in the world(is there any ideal one) but they are the best and the most rational political party for this nation, I guarantee.
Thus, stop being forgetful and disloyal if you think you still love this country, thank you.
Have you ever tasted pulut durian? no? you are a loser then. What about you tried but not like it? still, a loser you are! kahkahkah
I call it holy food~!!
What makes it so holy? Because I will only be having it during holidays. LOL
OML. It is not only holy but satisfying, pleasing, incredible, heavenly, and......…..you say it.
I had it yesterday during breakfast, lunch and dinner. I didn’t even watch for my weight gain whenever I had it. I did not intend to, to be frank. I don’t actually care.
Call me crazy but yeah, I feel like having pulut durian lot more, 5-6 plates a day shall be nice for my portion.
There are still some durians in the fridge, and I could cook pulut(sticky rice) myself but I don’t have fresh santan(coconut milk). I don’t want to use the long-time-left-in-the-fridge coconut. It will produce non-savoury taste of santan and knowing me, I will always make sure pulut durian I will be eating is in the perfect condition and taste, and then only I will have it.
p/s: Pulut durian is a Malaysian cuisine which comprises of sticky rice, fresh coconut milk and durian(a local tropical fruit). The ingredients may serve someone a high content of calories and cholesterol but the taste someone will savor from it is speechless in words.
I easily burst into nutty laughter, shivery scream and flowing tears when watching movies in the cinema. Just like two days ago when I went to watch Nur Kasih the Movie in Berjaya Times Square GSC, I think I was actually crying during the whole movie. Gila kan?? Aku pon rasa aku gila. Nak mengaku nangeh pon malu gila, sebaek kawan2 aku tataw pon aku nangeh bagai nak gila. Maybe not during the whole story, but there were several times i cried!
Well, for some of you, you may not even touched by the drama acted. I know it was a drama and it was SO dramatic that the whole plot was about saddy touchy scenes but I just couldn’t help myself to hold the tears from flowing down. Haihh…
People may never predict how sensitive you are, not even yourself sometimes…
By the way, Tiz Zaqyah played Nur Amina role very well, and she looked very pretty in the story (i believe the real person is pretty, too) and the storyline was pretty effective, with me was crying all the way during the whole story. I never cried so long watching a movie. Trust me, i don't usually like that. Period kot? LOL
Yeah, yeah.. I know, we should love our hometown, be proud of it. and yeah, I do. but then...
Have you ever had a feeling which you prefer some other places to be your hometown, instead of the forever, present one? Well, it’s me who had it. I had it a lot anyway.
Despite the fact that I have been living in Alor Star for about 20 years, I actually prefer Sungai Petani to be my place of staying. The feeling will become strong every time the bus I’m boarding passing by the town, whenever I’m on my way from Shah Alam to Alor Star trip..or whenever we went to SP for house checking or attending some kenduri.
Well, I guess I’ve unconsciously built the feeling due to the fact that my dad owned a house in SP, situated at the very strategic location in SP town. Since child, we always go there to check the house condition, meeting new tenants and the parents will always instill the belief in us that we will be moving there once they retired. Now that one of them is going to retire by the end of this year, they said they won’t move anywhere. It’s rather a disappointing statement for me.
Apparently, dad bought the house far earlier than mom bought our current house in AS but we settled down in AS as the parents were working here. The current house is not a very convenient one, long time renovated, located in the flood affected area. Sigh... another factor of wanting to move away. We(the siblings) always fight with the parents for house renovation or moving away as a better solution. Nonetheless, as usual, money acts as the declining factor. I don’t think we are that poor, due to the parents’ job position, I mean, we are not rich but poor?? NO, we shouldn’t be. I’m not quite sure why do we have to experience such severe money crisis.
And not to deny another fact, I love the progress SP has been experiencing. It’s not the capital town of the state but I personally think it deserves the status more.
Mom talked about some house renovation recently. I very much hope that she will be searching for some reliable contractors, not like those she had before.
Sorry, this is quite an old story. i have been procrastinating on writing it down till the end.lol OML. My tummy is about to burst. I’m so bloated with the building layers of fat in the stomach. It’s all because of the potluck we had yesterday. I think I’ve gained pretty well kgs prior to the gobbling of cupcakes, nuggets, wedges, fries, donuts, cakes and pudding (some kinds of them) and some drinks. Lucky I didn’t have the drinks or else, my tummy has burst into some kind of watermelon being crashed by a trailer tire. *okay, hyperbole detected* But really, it was fun though. I think it has been quite few years I didn’t join potluck. Last time we had it in form 5, along with Eidulfitri celebration. So, most of my friends and I brought kueh raya and some of us brought other food. It was held in school but now, in the campus. A new environment serves new feelings, huh? So, these few days I have been giving some thoughts of what to bring to the potluck..baking a chocolate cake? Bread pudding? Chips? Hotdogs? Nuggets? Yeah, I settled for nuggets. Ramly chicken nuggets. Easy, convenient, tasty. LOL Initially, I quite regret with the nuggets decision as there was another classmate who brought the same thing as mine. Only, she had fries together with it. But the regret didn’t seem to last long when our nuggets were the first item to sold out.LOL No more doubts about Ramly Chicken Nuggets, huh? As my mom always suggest, the best nuggets in town!
What??? Alright, I know I know….......... I should start fasting for few days to reduce this expanded tummy..pffffffff
