Paranoia

It has been some time I feel like I am reaching the death moment. I mean, my death moment.

I feel afraid of boarding a car, or a bus, or any kinds of transportation, afraid that I will be involving in accidents. I pray hard every time I’m getting into a car so that the journey will be safe.

I become too afraid of strangers. Imagine I went to a hypermarket, I asked a shopper the price of pants, and I found out that it is a bit too pricey than the price I bought it for, previously (in other place, of course). As usual of my character, I asked him why is he selling at that price while I bought it for (I told him the price I bought it for). He snapped. and I regret doing it. I also am afraid of him going to do something bad to me after this as he looked very fierce. Now, I am afraid of going to the hypermarket again. I know I am paranoid, but just lately.

Now is the convocation season. Every time I look at those graduating, I mean their pictures, I have the feeling that I may not have enough time to experience the moment of my own.

When I look at kids and babies, I am afraid I won’t have the opportunity to breed mine.

When I look at the assignments, I will be thinking, what will all these serve for if I died before graduating?

Should I still be doing the assignments now? Heehee. No I meant it.

history updates

It’s the new semester already.

Four months of break added some history of life. Some parts are sweet, some are sour, and some are helplessly bitter.

I found a new crush, like a real crush. It was a strong feeling for him in the initial but the feeling had faded away after discovering things about him. The discovery acknowledged me that he is too good to be true as a living man, leaving me feeling superbly inferior to him. Now, everything is back to normal, to my normal condition, no lovey dovey feelings for anyone.

During the break, I formatted the lappy since its performance was getting real slow like an esiotrot. Alright, it’s tortoise. I just love to call tortoise esiotrot. I think tortoise serves to have a cooler name, though it doesn’t have a cool appearance. Btw back to the formatting story, I was just very unlucky to have trusted a new computer shop near the house. He didn’t backup my files that I lost everything I had. Pics, assignments, songs…. I googled around to find the best data recovery centre but I settled for a part timer data recoverer to recover the lost data in the lappy, for its cost effectiveness, of course. After a day, he said he couldn’t recover the files since they were override( ?? I know it’s grammatically incorrect but that’s what I think he said). Then I gave him my crashed external hdd, thank you God, though it’s not everything he managed to recover but I got 90% of the lost pics back. Oh btw, he charged me rm60 ONLY. I think he is just pity on me (he knows I am a student, muka xda duet plak tu lol)…after all, it’s a huge lesson I learnt. Make sure you have the backup for important files, no matter what you are going to do with the lappy!

My sister and I had a huge misunderstanding with the parents. We were slapped by Dad. Yes, Dad slapped us on the face, two times.

It’s all a history now. You have the brain to decide which is sweet, sour and bitter. I am too lazy to tell the rest of tasteless events.