i am ashamed of myself for this one reason

i am way too straightforward nowadays


i am not good at saying things behind people's back
but i am so good at blurting words out on the spot


sometimes, or most of the time
words i said sound very radical
which in fact
after spurting them off
whatever feelings i had before faded away just like that
when i got up the next morning, i didn't see the reason why i should have become that verbal


i should learn from mistakes
mistakes of being too straightforward
i must, actually


i used to be very much self composed of a person.
no one would ever know how i feel
no one would ever guess what i think
unless i told them
even if i told them, some would doubt that i could spare such a feeling for something, or someone


i wonder where has my old self lost to.
please come back, oldie selfie
i miss u very much
and i need you now and forever.