forgetting is relieving

in before, i would never feel proud of this feeling of mine

i couldn't help myself but having this strong unlike feeling for this one particular figure.

she is not a public figure but a student figure la kot

since she is a lecturer.

i always think that she teaches lousily, like, the worst lecturer i ever had.

her voice is soft and monotonous those in third and the next rows shall struggle to be able to listen to every patah dan kata from her clearly

she answers questions with questions

she doesn't provide feedback to quizzes and assignments

even if she does, they must never be positive

she is bias (there are obviously some favourite students)

she is idealistic (not flexible) probably because she never really experienced a job of a teacher

i have the feeling that she doesn't like me

whenever someone beside me talks to me, she will look at me as if i am the one at fault

padahal i'm not someone who likes to talk to classmates when a lecturer is in front pon

i prefer to doze off, though

i think she is selfish

so basically, i dislike this figure much

however, after meeting her personally (with another friend) in her office this morning for some 'so called' consultation. (padahal nak g mintak balek this one last semester's assignment. yes, she has been teaching us since last semester), i have got myself new perspective for her

i found her not that bitchy terrible of a person, not that

she sounded sincere while giving advices to us

she actually marked our assignments (i doubted it all this while)

she returned our test papers (maybe after some/a lot of complaints)

so anyway ok la tu kan?

yeah, from today's moment, i think she is not that bad of a person, not that

she is just someone, like everyone else, with strengths and weaknesses

and i feel relieved

very much relieved.

though i have been sparing dislike for her all this while

at some points, i tried to convince myself that there is no way she has no bright side within her

you see, i don't like to dislike others

do you get it people?

having a negative feeling towards others is not a good feeling.

having a good feeling for others is pleasant. very pleasant.

and now

i think i have begun to forget parts of her dark side